Dear Migs, I don’t know you personally except through your blog. And amidst the titillation and the good advice through the experiences through your blog you have touched my life. I don’t believe you to be an expert, let alone a role model. I prefer a friend. At least a friend can cry with you, or at least laugh with you, foibles and heartache, bad judgments and triumphs. So please keep on being yourself. I don’t think anybody should ask more from you than being you. Though megalomania and messianic prophecy aside, I think you really are special. – Sam

Thank you, Sam. I needed that!

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There were several things I learned during my short cocooning phase. One of which is that to espouse “World Peace” — which for me personally means optimism, hope, and positive attitude, characteristics I wish for myself and for many of my brother PLUs — I don’t necessarily have to always be the weak, kind one. I don’t have to be the typical Juday, Nora, or Sharon character. I don’t have to be the perennial underdog, the victim-heroine, the melodrama queen.

Many of you see only the glitter and glamor hovering about my blog — very few know that I have in the past suffered silently because of it.  Harsh, venomous vituperations which, in my heart of hearts, I believe I do not deserve.  I learned during these past few weeks that for me to continue with my advocacy for more optimism, hope and positive attitude among the gay community — through my blog or through other means — I need to tend to my own capacity to believe that it is possible.

Given the reality of this world, and my experience of it as a blogger of 2+ years, I would say I need to evolve to someone more firm, someone who can take more control of myself and my blog. Blogging does not just require time, it can sap one of energy. As I continue this online endeavor, I keep this in mind.

And you, my readers who are able to understand, you are my strength. I do not desire that you never disagree. What I desire, if you ever care reading my blog, is that you think with me.

Thank you.

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Hi Migs,

I’m a big fan of your site. I always read whatever you put there. I’m the guy that hates drama hehehehe. I’ve been wanting to write you for the longest time but can’t find good story to share until yesterday Nov 8, 2008.

I’m currently in Malaysia for a short visit. Yesterday I went to see the Petronas out of curiosity because I’ve been hearing a lot of good words from people who see it and also from the movies.

I arrived there around 4PM. I took their MRT system and alighted at KLCC station which is just below the PETRONAS. I passed by SURIA KLCC mall home of branded clothing lines. Im not really sure where Im going that time so I just followed the Mall and voila I ended up at the side of Petronas.

Petronas is all metal! hehehehe nothing really fancy except that it is really Huge. I took pictures and tried to find a good spot to capture the beauty of the building. There were loads of tourist there and some were really in an awkward position just to get a good picture. One guy caught my attention. He’s really good looking and he’s really the type of guy that I want to flirt with. I’m more into English guys cause i find them really really cute and flirty..hehehehehehe. Anyways, I was there for almost 10mins and didnt have yet a good shot. Then this really good looking guy came and seat near where im taking pictures of the building. Nung una patay malisya kunwari, then somebody approached me to take their pictures. which I obliged because Im a firm believer of Karma…plus I think its a good “catch phrase to use” hehehehe.. So after I finished taking pictures of the couple, langya ginawa talaga akong photographer. I was like taking their pictures at all angles of the building but then again I didnt complain because somehow “Alam ko may mangyayaring maganda”. Then I went back to the same place where the really good looking guy was still seated. So I seated near him and started to like find some angles of my shot. Nung una hesistant ako to ask him kasi alam mo na baka magalit or something but because I really really wanted to start a conversation I asked him “Is it alright if you take my pictures then I’ll take your pictures?” with my British accent hehehehe. Pandaya lang yun para kunwari magaling mag-English. He immediately said yes. Then we took turns to take our pictures. We took 2 each. Then we returned to seat again.

And then we started talking. He’s a British-Canadian guy. He’s just in Malaysia for transit and just came from Bali where he did lots and lots of surfing. We talked about a lots of stuff from Football to Geography to Filipina women. We’ve been talking like for 45mins already when he said that he needed to go because he still needs to catch “Quantum of Solace” then he asked me if I wanted to come. Since I didn’t really have any plans after my Petronas I said yes. We walked for almost 20mins just to reach the cinema,since pareho kaming NEWBIE sa Malaysia. Then we caught the 530pm screening. The movie ended up like 730pm. I’m really enjoying his company so after the movie I didn’t really want to go home. He asked me again if I wanted to join him to go bar hopping. He said may nakita syang magandang lugar by searching sa internet na malapit sa area where he is staying. (Hindi sya marunong mag tagalog ha..hehehe). So I agreed that I can stay until 1030 because the last train going back to where im staying is 11PM. We proceeded then to his hotel to change, kc naka-shorts and t-shirt lang siya. I politely said that Ill just wait downstairs, kc baka kung ano pa isipin. hehehehehe…

After 5 mins he came down looking even more gorgeous and smells very nice too.Pumunta n kami sa place and there we learn what the place is famous for : MASSAGE PARLOR… we were like laughing the whole time because the whole place were loaded with different kinds of SPA. So naglakad pa kami until we reached the next street AYUN! mga bars na talaga. We drink and dine at PLANET HOLLYWOOD and have like a Barrell of Beer, Pizza and chicken for the two of us. We really had good fun while eating , drinking and watching FOOTBALL match. Again, the conversation was really really nice. I learned that he’s NUCLEAR PHYSICIST! wtf!????? From his looks I was really caught unaware because he’s really gorgeous and model looking. We finished around 11PM then we decided that I should stay na lang sa room nya since I already missed the last trip. So itinuloy na lang namin yung bar hopping. Lipat lipat kami ng bar and lahat may pint ng beer.

Around 2PM we decided to call it quits kc lakas na ng tama niya. Sobrang dami kasi ng nainom na niya. Upon reaching the room, he asked me kung gusto ko raw “Gay Position” kami sa pagtulog. Di ko alam isasagot ko I just said “You are scaring me now”. To be honest Migs first time kong ginawa ito. I’ve never done this in my entire life pero because I really enjoyed his company plus lahat ng fantasies ko sa isang guy nasa kanya : English, former Army, Intelligent and most of all Good looking I did it. “I chose the GUY POSITION”. So we ended up sleeping in one bed. He slept topless at lalo akong humanga! Washboard ABS! pero I controlled myself. Talagang nag-isip ako if I want to do it or not. He was there lying half naked drunk…..I can’t sleep..Ano ba dapat kong gawin? Like I said this is all new to me. Akala ko ganun lang kadali yun based sa lahat ng mga nababasa ko at napapanud. but I decided to choose na walang mangyari. I know we have something special pero ayaw kong masira…..Paggising ko may halong sisi…kc all night I waited for him to make the first move…I think he also waited for me to make the first move…pero ayaw ko talagang masira kung anong meron na kami.

Lumipad na sya today papuntang Australia kasi may job interview pa siya….and I stayed here in Malaysia….medyo nalulungkot pero umaasa na magkita kami ulit…hehehehe Hindi naman drama medyo may halong pagsisi lang..but i know we started something special….

Tapos i heard the song Love Comes from the Most Unexpected Places…sabi tama nga no.. I wasn’t really looking for anything when I went to Petronas but I ended up having a good memory that I will remember for the rest of my life. Alam ko hindi pa tapos ang aming story….

Thank you Migs.. Gusto kong mabasa reactions ng mga readers ng blog mo kc natutuwa talaga ako sa mga comments minsan.

More Power

ILoveChris now ILoveAlec
Nov. 9, 2008

Hi Migs,

He emailed back and we’re planning to see each other again on the 17th. Do you think I should go for it this time?

Cheers
IloveAlec
Nov. 11, 2008

Hi Migs,

We saw again each other last monday Nov 17. We stayed again in the same hotel shared the bills. We went out again and had a really really wonderful night together. It was one of the happiest moments of my life for the longest time. I thought it would never end.

Then when we were about to sleep I asked a silly question “I said, hey man can i Hug you?” he said “No” very loud. I said “Ok sorry”. Then few minutes later i heard him say “Hey man yes you can hug me now.” I was sooooooooooooooo happy. I was hugging him for 10mins when he said something. I said no. He said If i want to do it we can……..i was preparing for a week for the moment to come…but when it was there…i was confused……I didnt want sex… I want a relationship..which is so silly of me………

He’s now in Thailand enjoying the last part of his vacation. He’ll stay there for a month. I’m planning to go to Thailand again to see him and see where it goes. I really really liked him so much. We exchanged personal things and im becoming more and more “Drama Queen” which I really really hate.. You know smelling his shirt..Memories of our last night together still haunts….hahahahahaha.

But then again, I never expected something like this will happen ..I always said he’s just the icing on the cake, i enjoyed the cake so much. Hey Ho! Life is beautiful.

Thanks Migs and more power. Enjoy your holiday.

Cheers
ILoveAlec
Nov. 20, 2008

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Yes, I have been partnered with “Dee” for 10 years now. He’s an American, a lawyer, divorced twice (he thought he was bisexual, but finally came out gay and wouldn’t have anything more to do with women), and have been told that he has Richard Gere looks. I agree. We met when I was still living in Manila and he was visiting for a conference. It was love at first sight, a la Miss Saigon. But like Chris leaving Kim, he left too – only, he came back a year later.

Over the course of 2 years, when he went back to the US and I continued my life in Manila (I was doing my grad school at UP Diliman while teaching at UP Manila), we had a long distance relationship. We emailed each other everyday, phoned each other weekly, and yes, even had phone sex once in a while. This was 10 years ago. We now live together here in California and have a happy, fulfilled life. I can’t ask for more: Dee is very supportive and understanding; loving and caring. The sex life is great!

Only, we have a 21-year age gap. That really did not bother me at all – it did bother some of my friends. Over the years, because of his background in racial conflict as a lawyer, he knew he had to bridge the age gap if we were to become equal as partners in our relationship. I would say what really helped is that we work together professionally and therefore, we get to see each other not only in the light of our personal relationship but also as two capable individuals in our work sphere. When we met, I was a virgin – yes, believe it or not, I was still a virgin at the age of 27. I fell in love with mostly straight boys and of course, they were all unrequited love. But that’s all in the past – I’m happily partnered with Dee.

And happily involved with Andrew. Just half a year ago, Dee thought that he doesn’t want me to grow old (I’m now 37) and regret that I never had any relationship with other men. He was willing to explore an open relationship – only for me, he himself is satisfied with me as his partner. So, after thinking about it hard (I am no longer a practicing Catholic and therefore, the Catholic guilt is not an issue), I posted an online personals ad. That’s how I met Andrew: a handsome, blue-eyed, blonde 46-year old American psychotherapist; of dancer’s built (he dances, bikes and hikes to keep fit); sweet; charming; and basically, a dream. We started going out together – he knows I am partnered and will always have Dee as my primary partner, but needed to experience having a boyfriend to enrich my personal life. We go out to movies; he takes me to parties; and yes, we have become intimate sexually. All of these Dee knows. In fact, they’ve met already – when Andrew had an art show (he also paints). Andrew thanked Dee for being flexible – and Dee said that he had to be because of the big age gap. They both said it was a warm meeting.

It feels good to be 17 again – and not have the baggage of youth. Also, it feels good to have a boyfriend – and not think of “what if”. I don’t have to worry about the future – I already have the future (Dee) mixed with the present (Andrew). I am enjoying both worlds.

I am not saying this is for everybody, Migs. It is not. And you know what, I think the only reason this works is because Andrew himself is in a committed, open relationship with another man. They have been together for 26 years. How post-modern, don’t you agree? Andrew goes out with me because right now, he and Ty are on a trial separation: they haven’t had sex with each other for the last 10 years. Andrew, in short, is with me in order to satisfy his need for intimacy.

We’ve been going out for a couple of months now – and its still a bliss. I know, like all dreams, I will eventually wake up. And when I do, I know it would be next to Dee – reminiscing my time with Andrew in quiet dreamlike.

Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you can share it with your many subscribers.

Yours,
Ronald

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Hi Migs,

I bet you might be tired of getting emails about guys being in the closet, but reading some of the letters on your blog I muscled up some strength to ask for just assistance, I’m actually looking for like a support group for people like me, or others like me (confused, troubled, down-low, closet). I’m just a regular working bloke and can’t afford a shrink, I’m living independently both of my parents passed away already, and as for support of my brothers & sisters that’s another story.

I always try to brush away this dilemma of mine and think there are way more serious problems in this world we live in and just be content that I have a place to sleep, food to eat, money in my pocket, stable job. But then..(I know it sounds like a cliche)..for the past 30+ years of my life there’s like a big sack of dirt in my shoulders that I’m trying to lift each and every single day, trying not to drag me down.

I would often think of ways to numb this feeling like try some drugs or drinking, but I willed myself not go to that route, sorry I’m still having a hard time expressing this situation, but if you don’t have any idea if such a support group exist, your blog has been helpful in making me aware of what I am feeling, thank you.

Dean

Hi Dean,

I applaud you for your humility in admitting that you need a support group. I am a great believer that our journey as gay men (closeted or out) is much easier and more enjoyable if we choose to travel alongside people like us. I do not know of any specific support group that caters to closeted gay men, but I’m pretty sure our fellow MGG readers have some ideas.

Good luck and all the best to you, Dean!

Migs

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Today, September 11, is my birthday. I have no wise words to say, just thank you, salamat, salamat! On this day, I am overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for the innumerable blessings I constantly receive from every direction. I resolve to spend my day celebrating these blessings and honoring everyone around me who has made me a more joyous person now than last year, than ever before. This includes you, dear MGG reader — salamat for being part of my life. I may not know all of you personally, but rest assured that just by being there you’ve made me a better person. Because of you I constantly strive to be as open, as accepting, and as loving as I can possibly be. Thank you, salamat, salamat po!

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For lovers of full-figured cuties, I’m sure Geoff Eigenmann fulfills your fantasies. Here are shirtless photos of dear Geoff who’s recently trimmed down to a delectable, still full-figured, hunk. Thank you Mommy Gina for bringing forth this cutie!

Photo credits: Geoffspace / Jhoy

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Today, MGG turns two years old!

TWO is such a small number, but for MGG, TWO means…
… 1,085 total posts
… 30,700 total comments
… 1,000,000+ page loads per month*
… 191,000+ unique visitors per month*
… #1 Community / Groups blog (Philippine Top Blogs)
… #17 in Top Philippine Blogs according to Alexa (August 2008, published by PMT)

but really, for me, the following numbers are more important:

For MGG, TWO is ONE – unity in diversity! Despite the differences, world peace pa rin!
For MGG, TWO is INFINITY — because the love you dear readers have showered on MGG is priceless! Thanks to all who sent it their greetings — some coming all the way from America and Africa! Salamat, salamat! (Text messages after the jump.)

Hi. I rarely browse your site but everytime na I visit there’s always something new. I just hope we can be friends. Keep up the good work. [Friend5293]

Hi Migs! Magka-birthday pala kami ng blog mo. I embraced my gayness (although I’m not out to everyone) 2 years ago, and your blog was my self-help along the way. Here’s to 2 wonderful years, and I wish for many more years of inspiring blogs and world peace for you! [JC of Makati]

Happy Anniversary! I am an avid visitor of your site and I love reading your blogs as well. Honestly I get pissed off when I’m not connected because that would mean missing your juicy updates. Best wishes. [Jack]

Hi Migs! I would like to extend my warm greetings for the 2nd anniversary of MGG! [Tsinitoboy of United Arab Emirates]

Hi Migs! Wish more love to your column! Ingat na lang. [Joel from San Jose Bay Area, California, USA]

Manilagayguy, congratulations! Time was so fast, you’re too old na. Like me, I’ll be turning 2 this November living here in London. You’re a part of my daily life. Even I’m here I used to be updated diyan sa Pilipinas because of your blog. It’s my stress relief, a teacher and a friend. May you have more years to come… at this time, I am inviting and hoping I can meet your group — Fabcasters and you of course soon when I will be having my vacation. Mwah! World Peace! [MJ of London]

Hi Kuya Migs, it’s great you have a text line na for your fans. Of course kasama na ako. Ano nga pala Friendster account mo? Hanggang ngayon kinikilig pa rin ako about you and Ahente, sama talaga ng loob ko kasi blurry naked pic niya… Sana magpost ka pa ng stories, beauty tips and naughty experiences. Good luck po Kuya Migs. [Mike, 17]

Oy, kelan masasaksihan ng Beijing ang iyong divine presence? Lemme know! Nang makasamba! LOL! Congrats on a job well done with MGG. Cheers! [Tobal]

Hi MGG. I have been reading your blog for some time now. It’s something I look forward to read everytime, everywhere. It’s bookmarked on my mobile you see. So it’s rather convenient to browse in dull lull moments which as of late my life has gotten an attraction to. Keep the writing up and the writer’s flavor-of-the-second’s pants down. [Poik]

Hi Migz.. happy 2nd anniversary… from Ivanhoe of USA… more power! [E.P.]

Hi Kuya Migs, I’m Trike. Isa po ako sa mga readers ng blog ninyo po. 15 na po ako nung Saturday. Is it OK? Hehehe. I place my self as a bi. Kasi feeling ko po maliit lang po ang pagkagusto ko sa mga boys and mas gusto ko pa rin mga girls. Tama po ba ako dun? Na bi po ako at hindi gay? O may kaibahan po ba yung bi at gay? O pareho lang sila? I need an answer po. Thank you very much. [Trike, 15]

Hi Migs, I’m in a God-forsaken country in Africa, Madagascar. Your website really gives a smile to my very homesick gay heart. Thanks. [Earl]

Love your columns Migs. Your stories inspire me all the time and updates me about gay life and gigs in Manila which I miss the most. Hope you can feature me in your blog. If you happen to be in San Francisco CA, my treat! Have a good one and stay happy! [Joe]

Hi! Migs good afternoon! Happy anniversary to your blog, thank you for being an inspiration, you help people look to the brighter side of the problems and thank you for being there for your readers. Happy anniversary and God bless. [Sammie]

Hello Migs, Efrain to… eto na ha text na ko sayo hehehe… hope you receive this… I’m here kasi whole day nakababad sa PC… so Chikka na lang. [Efrain]

Migs, Mikkoi here of blogspot. Happy 2nd anniversary. I really enjoy your posts and the fabcasts. Kudos! You are an inspiration. [Mikkoi]

Hi Migs.. I would like you to know I always read and look at all the pics sa website mo. Wala ako masabi talaga. Lahat sila ay entertaining and sana lalong maging full of life. Sana ay magkaroon ka ng mga sexy photos nina AJ Perez, Angelo Patrimonio, Chris Gutierrez, Arnold Mercado, and Jason Abalos. I really liked ang mga sexy photos nina Coco Martin, Jake Cuenca, Mike Tan. Bagsak lahat ang aking panty sa kanila lahat. More power and congratulations sa website mo. [Pauley V.]

Hi there Migs! I’m an avid MGG reader! (Actually pati podcasts mo dina-download ko.) And take note, hindi naka-block yung site mo (I’m here in Abu Dhabi, UAE). I am a bit confused now! Kasi before I truly believed that same-sex relationship can last and that long-distance relationships can survive. Unfortunately, last night I received a text message from my bf (my ex now) that he has found another one. It turned my world upside down! I was full of despair, hatred, disappointment, anger. I felt cheated! It’s too painful that I don’t know how to gain back my self-respect. [Abu9202]

Migs. Another reader of your blog here. Happy 2nd anniversary. Ano course mo sa AIM? Ala lang Baka classmates tayo hehehe. [Super Paminta]

Hi Kuya Migs, this is Genesis your frequent reader. Just wanna say good night. [Genesis]

Hi, MGG. I’m Paulo and I’m an avid yet silent reader of your site for quite some time now. Thank you for sharings and views. They are highly appreciated. Kudos! [Paulo3673]

I wanna congarulate you Migs for providing us a wonderful MGG site. How’s boytoy? Hay, I wanna fall in love! [Luckyclover]

Hi Migs, this is Yul one of your avid readers of your blog, happy anniversary… “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” [Yul]

* Source: StatCounter.com

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Tomorrow I’ll be catching Bebs Gohetia’s Thank You Girls at the UP Cine Adarna. Speaking of UP Cine Adarna, there will be gay films galore showing there this September. Here’s the schedule…

UP Film Institute — September 2008

CINE ADARNA

Main Cinema Engagement:

Sept 1 Mon
La mujer de mi hermano (My Brother’s Wife) 2:30/5/7 p.m.

Sept 5 Fri

5:30 p.m. Adam & Steve

7:30 p.m. Boy Culture

Sept 6 Sat

2 p.m. Adam & Steve

5 p.m. Adam & Steve

7 p.m. Boy Culture

Sept 8 Mon

5 p.m. Boy Culture

7 p.m. Adam & Steve

VIDEOTHEQUE

@ the Videotheque:

Sept 3 Wed

5/7 p.m. Brocka-Bernal 101- Queer Edition: Tubog sa Ginto; Manila by Night

Sept 4 Thu

5 p.m. Brocka-Bernal 101- Queer Edition: Manila by Night

7 p.m. Brocka-Bernal 101- Queer Edition: Tubog sa Ginto

Sept 13 Sat

2:30 p.m. Brocka-Bernal 101- Queer Edition: Tubog sa Ginto

4:30 p.m. Brocka-Bernal 101- Queer Edition: Manila by Night

Sept 24 Wed to Oct 4 Sat

4:30/6:30 p.m. Special Full Run: Daybreak with Alternative Ending back-to-back with Imoral-Director’s Cut

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