Manila Gay Guy
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Today I received another one of those queries — it’s been a common thread among several recent questions I received in email and through SMS:

Migs, I’m a girl and I have a boyfriend who I love so dearly. I however have this horrible hunch he is gay. Please Migs, help me, how do I know if he’s gay? What are the signs? Please Migs, I want to know! Help!

So on behalf of all these confused girls who suspect that their boyfriends might be gay, I summon the kindness of MGG readers, do pitch in, how would you answer their question: how do I know if the guy’s gay?

Hi Migs!

Oh my gosh, I don’t know how to start this…

I’m a straight woman who fell in love with a guy whom everybody thinks is gay. We were together for almost a year and I battled all my friends — straight girls, guys, gays, and lesbians — they all insisted my boyfriend is gay. But whenever we’re together he doesn’t seem gay at all. People were gossiping that he had a gay lover that he kept secretly.

Last year I broke up with him. Then I chanced upon his blogs and network profile and what I saw made me angry and hurt at the same time. He said he wasn’t gay and he loves me. He even claims he will never be in love again.

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Hi Migs,

iv been a loyal visitor of ur site… i love reading blogs which are sensible and NOT into mere porn.. i happen to read ria’s article and i was moved since i somehow relate myself to Andy.. wel, im hoping that u and ur visitors could help me with my own predicament as well.. so here’s my story.. (this is reality and not a fabrication)

Im Andrew, a 20 year old and i come from a privileged family. as a child, i grew up the way things usually are for a boy. i had girl crushes wen i was in grade skul and even went thru d stage of courstships. in fact, i came thru relationship wd a girl but it failed after almost a year. i went to college and i had a serious relationship wid a model-like chick. she was a campus sweetheart and of course i was proud to have her. but d MURKY and TRAGIC story of my life started here.

my family had a new driver. he is Clint and is 5 years my senior. he is not the typical driver hu is messy and cheap looking. he actually has an appeal and cud be mistaken as a part of r family, shud he be given the proper pointers on grooming. at first, i wasn’t into him, nor was he. we started the employer-employee relationship just well. then, our personalities conived as if we were brothers by blood.

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Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.

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dear migs,

i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.

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January is a veeeery busy month for us corporate people… di ko tuloy mai-kuwento dito about my Attorney. Yes, my attorney. Isang masalimuot na kuwentong pag-ibig (?) involving Attorney, his 3 women, and moi — pang-tele-novela! Once I’m settled, I’ll give you all a blow-by-blow account, after which you might just change your perception of Migs the Manila Gay Guy — from peace-maker to slut. Ha! Meanwhile, check out similar stories posted here:

You get my drift, right? Catch you later, people! Hahaha!

Ria, the woman letter sender of that previous post “My husband has a rich gay lover” responds after the overwhelming deluge of advice from our dear MGG readers. Let us all wish Ria the best, may she be blessed with strength to get through her current situation. (And for all of us who are privileged with knowing Ria’s story, gay men or straight men and women readers of MGG, may this be a reminder that the choices we make, the actions we take, impact other people and the world around us. Keep world peace in our hearts!)

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Hello Migs,

I never expected that my letter will be published that fast. Thank you for your kind words and from your readers. Please, please, extend my heartfelt gratitude for their thoughts and for the advice that they gave. I just read their comments and I must say that I am overwhelmed.

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worried-woman.jpgDearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.

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confused.jpg
Mark of Cebu is one confused guy. He says, “I wish I was just normally gay, or normally guy.” His email below shows the extent of his confusion, and how I wish he perseveres through the stage he currently is in, and come out a stronger, and overall better person. MGG readers, please read on, and be generous with sharing your thoughts. And for those who are going through something similar as Mark, I hope you feel strengthened knowing that there are other guys who are going through the same predicament as you are, and that there are people in this supposedly cruel world who are kind enough to listen, and give a piece of their mind on the matter. World Peace!

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Hi Migs,

First of all, I am sorry if I have to use a bogus email account. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that the thought of coming out makes me sweat to some extent.
Being the Manilagayguy, I hope you could shed some light to my dilemma. By the way, you can call me Mark of Cebu (not my real name). I am now 23 years old and I am definitely at the crossroads, I am definite I am gay, to some point yes. (whether bi or not, I don’t know just yet).

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One of the many great things I really enjoy when I started having this blog is receiving emails from readers. I get several everyday, and I tell you however busy I get, I always make it a point to open my email inbox, and excitedly go through emails from MGG readers.

For this post, I picked one email exchange. The email is from Seth, a father of two kids, each from a different woman. He asks, “Am I gay?” This is pretty long, but rather interesting. Read on.

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