Manila Gay Guy

Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.

dear migs,

i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.
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Mercy Daily, Janvier’s mom, sent the following letter to Migs. Mrs. Daily reacts to the public’s opinions regarding Janvier’s “nude photo scandal” and his controversial interview by Jun Lana. She says, “I wish he (Janvier) will stop showbiz if he wants me to live longer.” Why did she say so? Find out by reading her letter below.

Dear Migs,

You are the most trusted person among the friends of my son Janvier, for the fact that you are the first one to give my son a starting foot in your blog (MGG).

Everytime I miss my son I just go online to see and read what’s the latest, as I live far from him in Baguio.

Thank you very much for the article about the naked photograph of my son (uncensored) I was in Surigai when I 1st saw the photo and it made me cry.I pity my son being taken advantage of in that way by the person who took the photo withouit thinking of how it would offend me and of course my son Janvier. My big question is where is the consience of the person who took the photo for Janvier was so tired that night when they took advantage. Walang Kalabanlaban ang anak ko sa ginawa nya o nila.Wala rin sila consensya as a mother i am so affected by what may have seemed to them as a joke but above all this the most worst thing they did was to spread it all over the internet.
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Summer is just around the corner. Ah, lots of great summer memories! Here’s an excerpt from Danton Remoto’s short story, “The Heart of Summer” which won Third Prize in the 2005 Philippines Free Press Literary Awards.

Then in the blue hour before dusk, I would pick up our red plastic pail and walk five houses away to the street corner to fetch water.

I would line up before the wooden carts full of drums, pails, and recycled gasoline containers. I carried only a pail, but I was too timid to elbow my way to the head of the line. The short, stocky men nudged each other’s ribs and exchanged stories: “Pare, Vodka Banana did it again in her latest penetration movie, Only a Wall Between Us.” The women gossiped about their movie idols: “Sharon’s legs are like a washerwoman’s paddle,” said one, whose varicose veins strained on her legs like netting. After a long wait, I finally reached the fire hydrant. From its open mouth gushed water whose pressure was so strong that it swirled round and round my pail, the foam spilling on the dry earth. Then, I walked back to the house where I carefully poured the water into the drum. Then back to the street corner. Again.

On my way back, darkness had already settled on the hills. The chickens would be roosting on the branches of the star-apple trees, and the cicadas would begin their eternal buzzing. When I reached the street corner again, a young man was standing at the head of the line. He wasn’t there when I left earlier. He must have asked his housemaid to stand in for him, and returned only when it was time to fill his drum.
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MGG reader Tom rants about how the word “bisexual” is being used and abused by some of our fellow beautiful people in the community. I agree with Tom in the sense that we really should call a spade a spade; I somewhat differ in the sense that we should sometimes give our fellow PLUs some slack — we ourselves know how difficult the process of coming to terms with one’s homosexuality can be, thus this temporary phase of “confusion” is forgivable.

What is unacceptable though is the idea of treating anyone as inferior because of any of these labels, just like what Tom said, which I paraphrase for accuracy: “Sad that some straight people look down upon us in disdain, sadder still that amongst ourselves, we do the same.”

And this goes as much for the out-and-about gay guys bashing the closetted and so-called straight-acting gay guys, as for the butch types bashing “effems.” Guys, let’s all grow up. And let’s help each other grow up as well. Bashing is bashing, and it is simply unacceptable behavior. Let’s open our hearts a bit, look at our brothers in the community peering through the visible outer shell of how they dress up (nakataas ang kuwelyo, ultra-fitting baby tees, naka-skinny jeans, etc.), or how they talk (modulated “tol!”, “pre!”, “bro!”, or the fabulousity of “chuva!” “chenes”, “chenelyn everlu”). Gay, boy, bakla, tomboy — we’re all human beings that deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. With this in mind, we will know how to conduct ourselves as respectable and dignified persons, and we will know too how to treat others appropriately, always observing the ethic of reciprocity, more popularly known as the Golden Rule — “treat others as you would like to be treated.”

Hi Migs,

I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time, and at first i have to admit, it was because of the half naked men. But after time, I’ve seen past that and now it’s the written content that matters (plus the half naked men). Anyway, I’ve decided to email you just so I can get a few things off my chest. Please forgive the foul language… as I said I am venting.

Gay… What Does It Mean?
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January is a veeeery busy month for us corporate people… di ko tuloy mai-kuwento dito about my Attorney. Yes, my attorney. Isang masalimuot na kuwentong pag-ibig (?) involving Attorney, his 3 women, and moi — pang-tele-novela! Once I’m settled, I’ll give you all a blow-by-blow account, after which you might just change your perception of Migs the Manila Gay Guy — from peace-maker to slut. Ha! Meanwhile, check out similar stories posted here:

• “My husband has a rich gay lover.”
• Ms. Venezuela, ang baklang querida
• The Querida
• The First Noel

You get my drift, right? Catch you later, people! Hahaha!

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Ria, the woman letter sender of that previous post “My husband has a rich gay lover” responds after the overwhelming deluge of advice from our dear MGG readers. Let us all wish Ria the best, may she be blessed with strength to get through her current situation. (And for all of us who are privileged with knowing Ria’s story, gay men or straight men and women readers of MGG, may this be a reminder that the choices we make, the actions we take, impact other people and the world around us. Keep world peace in our hearts!)

Hello Migs,

I never expected that my letter will be published that fast. Thank you for your kind words and from your readers. Please, please, extend my heartfelt gratitude for their thoughts and for the advice that they gave. I just read their comments and I must say that I am overwhelmed.
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Dearest Migs,

I hope everything’s fine on your end.

I am not your usual reader (Yes, I am a real woman). I came across this great site upon researching about a person’s sexuality. Well, my husband, Ram. And I thought, you can provide a sound advice given a gay man’s perspective.

I’m Ria, I’m a mother of two, a 7-year old and a 2-year old, both girls. I have been married for seven years to Ram, a nice person and a good looking man (I’m proud that my husband is such a cutie). He was my boyfriend for two years in college and after college, we got married because I got pregnant.

He is a good, loving husband and a great father. Aside from fighting from usual, petty things – we are doing good, almost perfect. Except for one, for seven years, I feel that this marriage is a marriage of three people, he has a gay lover — which I knew even before we got married. All these years, I learned to accept our situation but I am now having a change of heart.
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My dear friend CC (for Corporate Closet) reacts to the Anoverz post, my first-ever mostly Tagalog post here in this blog. For those who have not read it, read it here — it’s about my “foolish” idealism on exclusivity in gay relationships. I thought reaction post was too well-written and insightful not to be republished here. So, here.

helo migs. kulang pa kasi yung comment ko dun sa Anovers post mo.

to those who havent read it, Anovers is migs angst-ridden (hihi), lalim na tagalog post on open relationships. he seems so frustrated that there seems to be nobody out there who shares his ideals of monogamy and exclusivity. (i remember a drunk and distraught joan cusack, in a wedding dress, shouting “is everybody gay” in what was probably the most hilarious part of the movie ‘in & out’!!!)
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This article was originally posted in peyups.com contributed by rapi_74 and edited by arwen.

The Parlorista. The Ms. Gay Barangay X, Y, Z, ∞. The Japayuki with the what-planet-did-your-boobs-come-from. The Pedophile. The Thief. The Incestuous. The Molestor. The Mamasang. The Devil Personified. The AIDS Victim. The Mataray, Malibog, Gossip, Malicious, Nagbabayad-ng-boyfriend, Rapist, Transvestite, Transsexual, Male-to-Female!

The notoriety of faggots has astonished the Philippine society to the point that through the years it has successfully secluded the gays – boxed them into harsh stereotypes. No wonder most gays would rather hide with the facade of straightness. And who could blame them? Look at that Babaylan flaunting his/her false womanhood. Look at that butch rug-muncher sitting at AS Steps grossly kissing her femme partner. Look at you. Look at me. Of course they’re disgusting! They’re deviants for God’s sake! And we don’t want to be deviant; we want to be straight like the rest of them.
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Here is a letter from Marc, an MGG reader, that tackles the classic predicament of straight-gay relationship. It’s true — when you are the one in the situation, it is much harder to see things objectively. We may always advocate that straight-gay relationships go nowhere, that it will never last especially without the money angle, etc. But who are we to stop any gay guy from falling in love? So I say, go and love whoever you want to love. My only suggestion is that in the course of loving, may each of us find more respect and dignity in our own person — but if the opposite happens then it’s time for some rethinking.

Hi Migs,

I encountered your blog a couple of weeks ago and I must say that this has inspired me and consoled me through the difficulties I have been facing lately.

I am a straight acting gay. Nobody knows about this except my two straight guy friends whom I have known from different/separate stages of my life. I have no plans of coming out as I am not yet comfortable with my situation (cliche’: I am a man who happens to love another man and I do not wish or intend to be a woman). I envy those who are brave enough to show their real persons but I beg your your respect and understanding regarding my situation and your non-judgmental way of looking at my problem, as it goes:
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