Manila Gay Guy » World Peace

“I’m Not Alone.”

migs — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:27:35 +0000

Dear Manila Gay Guy,

Thank you for widening the scope of the website even more. For a straight-acting gay dude, it’s difficult for many people to make them understand the mind of a gay man. Automatically, they would assume the effeminate side of being gay. And I feel guilty for even pointing that clearly out because it sounds as if I’m discriminating against our effeminate brothers. They are just like us.

Having gone through 2 courses in college and on my way to achieving my MA degree, I surprise myself that I couldn’t muster the strength to tell people I’m gay.. I did not deny my sexuality–it was just there. I don’t think a lot of people know I’m gay–I’m sure of that and that’s okay with me. I used to pretend I’m living in a soap opera life where my sexuality is something that boils in the back burner. It’s not something I would like people to draw attention to but it’s something worth noting that it exists.

Many people do not — cannot — comprehend the complexity of gay loneliness. Our loneliness stems from fear and questioning — about why we are really in this world. The only time I denied my sexuality was when a close female friend asked me if I were. Almost immediately it was as if my heart sank to my knees. I was confused whether to laugh while saying no or to appear serious while saying yes. Come to think of it, I should’ve said yes and laughed, which I think is what a typical coming-out reaction should be.

Lately, the news about the denial of the LGBT from representing in the elections and all these stiff-lipped bigoted straight authorities that shared their views about how tainted homosexuality is, made me want to reach into the computer and strangle the heck out of those people. Gay people are not full of hate. Then why are these bigots full of them. As if the life of a gay man isn’t filled with enough problems, then this came a long. But this action made by the LGBT to step up a notch and react even more was long overdue. I was desperately looking for something or someone to pour out my fears and frustrations at and it dawned on me — I was alone. Thank heavens for Manila Gay Guy. Thank the universe that the website is done with taste and professionalism — something that would prove gay people aren’t at all that flaming queers. Then I remembered why I wanted to act straight while being gay, I remembered all the reasons why I should go to the gym and workout everyday and not just to catch attention from all the probables. There should be another word for straight-acting because it sounds as if we are pretending to be straight as a cucumber. I wanted to appear strong and independent as if I’m a reed standing stately against the wind. I know that someday, I would have to face reality and make people see who I really am. I want to make people see, not just tell them. I know–we know–we are not immune to discrimination, to hatred, to lonelines and anger–we just need to prove more to ourselves than to other people that we can endure. But frankly speaking, I’m just tired. It’s website like yours that give me the strength to just acknowledge even for one friggin’ second of my day we exist and I’m not alone. Kudos.

- KDA

* * *

Dear KDA, I am happy to know how you’ve found comfort in my blog; even till now, more than 3 years since I started this, I have not fully comprehended the wonders of having such an active reader community. The community that has grown around MGG the blog is phenomenal, because everyone has his own opinion and is enthusiastic to share. We are diverse, yet one. Yes, you are not alone. So come sit with us, observe with us, debate and discuss with us, and in the end, however different our views or positions may turn out to be, I am sure that in our heart of hearts, we are joined as one. World Peace! ~Migs

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We Are All Connected

migs — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:20:07 +0000

We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

[Source]

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MGG World Peace Award: Positivism

migs — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:33:57 +0000

I read the following article by Cholo Hidalgo Laurel at Brian Gorrell’s blog, and I was deeply struck. In the early part of his article he says, “Twelve years of tiptoeing around people’s egos, witnessing the most evil power plays known to man, often compromising standards and never really feeling creatively fulfilled was just eating my soul up. Ergo, This happy man was not a very contented man. This man wanted to start doing things that meant something.” As I read through it, I felt so drawn to his passion to live a relevant, significant life, something much larger than himself. I so admire this kind of courage and high-mindedness.

At first I thought that I’ll just feature him here, and his advocacy, and that’s it. But I thought of something more fabulous! Since it is year-end anyway, I decided to honor him, his team, and his advocacy with an award I concocted myself: the MGG World Peace Award, which I would like to give to people, teams, projects, or initiatives that embody passion for promoting optimism, hope and positive attitude amidst all the negatives and craziness of this world.

To Cholo and everyone behind “Positivism” I salute you, and honor you with the very first MGG World Peace Award. I sincerely wish for more people to embrace the same advocacy. Migs the Manila Gay Guy embraces positivism. Mabuhay kayo! Mabuhay tayong lahat!

The Article by Cholo Hidalgo Laurel

I was in a café in Saigon during one of my shoots when this word first came to me. I recall the sunlight directly piercing through the trees and blinding my eyes as if to signify a coming epiphany. I felt a need but I didn’t know what I needed. I wondered if something was wrong with my life that I was not seeing. Defensively, I spoke to my self, “On the contrary, considering all that I had gone through in life, this is feeling like harvest time! I’m in a good relationship with a wonderful partner; 4 lovely children, respected by our peers. Ano pa ba ang hihilingin diba?” But the piercing sun was persistent. The emptiness was still there. It was making me sigh. Suddenly I just whispered to myself, “ God, I need to do something…no…not for myself. I need to do something… for you.

Before this starts to sound like college existentialist angst, I will have to admit that this soul searching comes from a natural tendency, My tendency to dig deep when I am sick and tired of something. Ok, confession, I was, at that point, getting very weary of advertising productions. Twelve years of tiptoeing around people’s egos, witnessing the most evil power plays known to man, often compromising standards and never really feeling creatively fulfilled was just eating my soul up. Ergo, This happy man was not a very contented man. This man wanted to start doing things that meant something. Gets?

After a few more sips (or was it cups) of coffee, the thought of an old acquaintance SHOLA LUNA crossed my mind. The thought lingered and I took it as a cue so I traced back. I had seen Shola a few weeks prior in a hospital near my home. I was having my annual check up and she was working as a health counselor of sorts and that was stunningly surprising for me because the Shola I once knew in Malate was the rebel of all rebels, not at all the angel that I had seen that day. But what was remarkable about meeting her again?… the fact that she’s HIV positive? That doesn’t stun me one bit…and then I thought of the word POSITIVE and found it amusing that a person with a viral strain would be popularly called POSITIVE. God must have some poetry behind that and I was about to find out.

POSITIVISM…hmm…I liked the sound of it.

Back in Manila a few weeks later, I intentionally paid Shola a visit in the same hospital to learn more of the world of POSITIVES and being the obsessive person that I can be, I even asked her to bring some of her positive friends over for dinner at my place just to get a deeper insight into an underworld of human beings who, as I discovered, are trying to rise above the heavy weight of stigma. They talked about their journeys from the darkness into light…from negative to positive…from near death to new life. They talked about how lonely it’s been but how hopeful they are for themselves and for the world, that world may awaken to realize that they deserve the name positive. I met gay as well as straight positive men and women and after many hours of hard laughter and tears, my heart found its mission. I focused into a vision… and I knew.

All this time the word POSITIVISM had already stuck to my subconscious mind. I didn’t know what it really meant but to me it meant POSITIVE ACTIVISM – activism for hiv positive people – to eradicate the apparent ignorance, kill the stigma and encourage love and understanding….kewl.

I penciled this in as part of the agenda for the next meetings with my creative team. Being like-hearted people, The HOTBOX team was quick to embrace the advocacy and so we set out for the most creatively fulfilling, heart-warming, soul-feeding journey – To make a web campaign that will help the Filipino deeply understand the HIV POSITIVE phenomenon.

God’s power is amazing, from one person (myself), ten more joined, then a small production house supported, a young director agreed to make a short, I sought help from colleagues and friends – THE Wig Tysman volunteered to shoot the cover, THE Tor Torre gave his make-up services, THE Mitch Amurao did the voices and THE Doctora Dytangko of the Research Institute for tropical medicine backed us up with the facts. Four months later, today, we’ve all grown up immensely and have learned so much about life, love and hope.

This Christmas, as we, the HOTBOX DESIGN STUDIO and our POSITIVISM friends launch this campaign; these are our arms wide open to all of you with all our love and hope. Help us spread the word in order to give hearts cheer, save lives, and spur hope in the hearts of many who need it.

Pay it forward; ask your loved ones to check it out. You will save lives and give hope to those who are deprived of hope.

Maligayang Pasko Pilipinas.

Please visit: http://www.positivism.ph

View more articles in MGG related to HIV.

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Zsazsa Zaturnnah in February 2009!

migs — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:58:41 +0000

From Carlo Vergara’s blog:

Had a meeting over the weekend with Tanghalang Pilipino (TP) and, yes, curtains will rise for the 6th run of the “Zsazsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal” in February 2009 for 15 shows. Auditions have taken place to fill in slots for the chorus, as well as a new Dodong (again!) to alternate with Arnold Reyes. Eula Valdes will reportedly do all the shows barring any schedule conflicts. Tuxqs Rutaquio, Joey Paras and Kalila Aguilos will reprise their roles as Ada, Didi, and Queen Femina, respectively.

Watta great news for us all PLUs! Nood tayo mga kapatid! And by the way, Merry Christmas y’all! World Peace!

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The pope’s alleged ‘homophobic attack’

migs — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:45:55 +0000

VATICAN CITY (AFP) – - A suggestion by Pope Benedict XVI that homosexuality is as much of a threat to the survival of the human race as climate change sparked outrage among gay rights campaigners on Tuesday. [Source / Photo by Yahoo]

There is no direct quote from Pope Benedict XVI that is clearly homophobic, so I do not think we should take it as a real attack. Knowing the Catholic doctrine though, I am not really surprised that the Pope disapproves of the assumed typical homosexual lifestyle. It’s Christmas, and today more than ever, I pray that the pope is blessed with the grace of universal love. And I pray for us all for the same thing. May we all learn to love everyone regardless of age, gender, and race. Being anti-anything is so yesterday. Love, love, love. And gratitude. World Peace!

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Have fun!

migs — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 10:09:33 +0000

I’ve restored all old posts… have fun and enjoy the weekend!

Mwah! World Peace!

Pahabol: And maybe, just maybe, you feel like visiting these much-missed hunks?

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I’m back — and I say again, “World Peace!”

migs — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 10:46:53 +0000

I’m back, but not unchanged.

There were several things I learned during my short cocooning phase. One of which is that to espouse “World Peace” — which for me personally means optimism, hope, and positive attitude, characteristics I wish for myself and for many of my brother PLUs — I don’t necessarily have to always be the weak, kind one. I don’t have to be the typical Juday, Nora, or Sharon character. I don’t have to be the perennial underdog, the victim-heroine, the melodrama queen.

Many of you see only the glitter and glamor hovering about my blog — very few know that I have in the past suffered silently because of it. Harsh, venomous vituperations which, in my heart of hearts, I believe I do not deserve. I learned during these past few weeks that for me to continue with my advocacy for more optimism, hope and positive attitude among the gay community — through my blog or through other means — I need to tend to my own capacity to believe that it is possible.

Given the reality of this world, and my experience of it as a blogger of 2+ years, I would say I need to evolve to someone more firm, someone who can take more control of myself and my blog. Blogging does not just require time, it can sap one of energy. As I continue this online endeavor, I keep this in mind.

And you, my readers who are able to understand, you are my strength. I do not desire that you never disagree. What I desire, if you ever care reading my blog, is that you think with me.

Thank you.

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Tami Ballesteros – Happy Holidays!

migs — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:45:04 +0000

Feeling Christmas-y already? Here’s Tami Ballesteros, model/entrepreneur, courtesy of photographer Dan Santos. Enjoy — and spread good cheer, y’all! World Peace!

Check out:
http://tamiballesteros.blogspot.com (model)
http://danwebs.multiply.com/ (photographer)

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Searing Pain, Shining Hope

migs — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:24:51 +0000

While the world is rejoicing with the victory of Barack Obama, the first US President of African-American descent, I was silently monitoring the gay-related Ballot Measures. In Arizona, Proposition 102 (Ban on Gay Marriage) was being decided on. The measure would amend the state constitution so that only a union between one man and one woman would be valid or recognized as a marriage in the state. In California, a similar measure was also being decided on, called Proposition 8. In Florida too, there was something similar, Amendment 2. All these states were voting Yes or No to Ban Gay Marriage. In all these three states, as of writing, the Yes’s are winning. In Arkansas, people were voting Yes or No to another gay-related issue: Arkansas Initiative 1– Ban on Gay Couples Adopting Children. Again, the Yes’s are winning.

I feel a bit sad, a tinge of searing pain at the left-hand corner of my heart. I look at the US as a model of progress, a country of forward-thinking people. I look at the US as a future version of us, Third World countries, a template of sorts. But as I look at the US now, I hope and pray for a more robust collective fortitude for the Philippines — so that we are able grow to be a better, more accepting, more humane country. When it’s our time to be progressive and advanced, I hope we can bring along our culture of caring sans discrimination, our culture of celebrating diversity. I hope we are able to build a country where love really knows no name and gender. A glimmer of shining hope. Sabi nga ni Zsazsa Zaturnnah, “isang tahimik na lugar… Kung saan walang pangalan ang pagmamahal… (kung saan) pag-ibig mo�t pagmamahal walang kinikilalang kulay o pangalan.” World Peace.

* * *

Shining hope, shining hope. Now I get reminded of the upcoming Manila Pride March on December 6, 2008. For more info, visit the official Manila Pride March 2008 website.

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The Greatest Poverty

migs — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:08:43 +0000

Today, October 15, 2008 is Blog Action Day and bloggers are being asked to take a stand on the subject of Poverty. Migs the Manila Gay Guy is one with all participating bloggers on this, and here’s my take on poverty:

We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. (Mother Teresa)

Do your share, and let someone feel wanted, loved, and cared for today. World Peace!

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